Gifts and Things From Here and There. Stupid Depression's Back.

Honestly, I'm really not in the mood. But when I'm usually suicidal and this down, typing calms me a bit. Even just a bit is fine.

I don't know why I'm like this again but I'm really unhappy with myself. How things are.
Really wanna quit sometimes.

Quit life, I mean.

Or reset it at least.

Anyway, moving on...

Today I was supposed to go to Miri but I backed out last minute because I really wasn't feeling well. Health-wise, mental-wise...everything really.

So yeah, my parents went on their own. I asked them to get me stuff.

You know, the usuals. Something from SaSa, Guardian or Watson, Popular...yeah. The usuals.

I gave them a list of what I want.
As usual, I won't be able to get them all, haha.

But my parents really want to cheer me up (sadly, material things can't do that anymore...) so they got me double the ones I want.

 So here are the pics:

Dad got me new shoes :) the shoes I bought last time....died. After two days of wearing them to uni. Will fix that though. This is so cute :) Dunno if it'll fit my sense of style though. Maybe if I use tights or leggings and dresses to uni.

And these are from SaSa.
Ever since the Nude'tude incident , I've been more reserved of going there.

So I always have my parents go there.

But that worries me even more sometimes...

So yeah, these are the things my parents doubled after not being able to get me magazines.

sasatinnie Facial Mist Toner in Peach
theBalm Batter Up Creaseless Cream Eyeshadows in Home Plate Kate and Home Base Kit

What's this....?

Seeing as how perfect the other seal is, I couldn't help but wonder why the other one was tampered with.

Because we all know the deal with tampered seals.

That means it's been opened.

I've been paranoid with cleanliness and things ever since the whole palette thing.
My trust in SaSa went down, you see.

I wanted to give this the benefit of the doubt.

I weighed them and well, the tampered one weighed less.
I told my dad and that's when he told me that he already warned the SAs what kind of person I am.

My mom told me these two were the only ones left.
I told them they didn't have to get two :/

At least it made life easier so I can just use...the tampered one.


When I saw THIS box, dread filled me.

That box is really protected. Maximized protection that looks old.

Yeah, as you should know by now, I'm very nitpicky at small details.

Even my dad told the SA's about how very picky I am with details and you know what, they KNOW I am. They remember the whole palette thing.

So, I can say that they know I'm difficult to please.

But you know, I do credit them where credit is due.
If you treat me right, I'll treat YOU right.

I only wanted either one of them or any colour really, but my parents decided to get both that I mentioned.

Wow. Thanks.

These were 50% off so that's good.

Why?

You'll see in a minute.

Inside it looks nice. There's this weird dent on the covers but it seems like it's both consistent.

Then my worst fear is confirmed.

The product shrunk away from the sides.

Home Base Kit more than the other one though.

See?

 As a person who values perfection in new things I get, I got a bit annoyed. LOL.

But it's funny because the box for this looks very new. I guess it happened while in the plane?

The one with the scary box on the other hand...

Looks just fine.

It shrank just a bit but not noticeable unless you really look at it.

Almost....perfect?

So I tried them both, hoping the shrinking didn't affect them.

I thought it worked fine.

I layered the similar Nude'tude shades on them and they really made them more vibrant!!

To see if it creased or not, or affected by sweat, I decided to exercise.

After exercising, it didn't crease nor fade!! I have the oiliest eyelids ever too.

But then I can't really judge. It was just 2 hours or so.

I'm more excited about the golden one :) looks very nice on my skintone.

That's it from Miri :)

A 'haul' via my parents.


Next, let's move on to the souvenirs I got from my sisters' trip abroad:

My sis got these silicone oven mitts from Singapore :) It's a crocodile!!

Secondly, she got this cookie presser thing.

My other older sis got this for me from her Phuket trip.

That's a lot of things to get in a day, no?

You'd think I'd be very happy and cheered up, no?


Don't think of me as ungrateful :(
But these didn't seem to lift my spirits as much as I hoped it would.


I was depressed all day long.
I couldn't study. I couldn't do work.

I just sat and felt horrible. All day long.

I tried to do work but I couldn't.

Exercising didn't help either.
Nothing did.


Tonight I broke down again.

I couldn't calm myself down, I'm so worried about my life in university.

It's gonna be affected by these things....this depression, this inability to focus.

Especially my Literature subjects.

I mean, I enjoy Literature a lot.

To not be able to focus and comprehend things frustrates me.


I don't know. Should I start taking meds again?

Should I?


The only thing that calmed me down in the end was holding a knife.


I don't know what's wrong with me anymore.






Hm.

Well, take care then.

Goodnight...

-Nisah-