I just saw my psychiatrist today.
He said I was doing fine.
But right now, I realized that I'm not.
I realized that I'm alone.
I said that I don't need anyone.
When in fact, I need someone.
I have Shyla, I also have Fini.
But I'm alone.
I'm all alone.
I have enough to overdose again.
No one will miss me if I do.
In the end I'll just be a fragment of a memory.
Or maybe I won't be remembered at all.
I just want to erase my existence.
It hurts.
Everything hurts.
I don't want to live anymore.
I'm so tired of it.
I honestly have no faith in humanity and life anymore.
I just don't.
I have no one to wipe off my tears, just a shaky finger that wants to stop.
I just don't want to live anymore.
I'm so tired of being patient and trying.
....just so tired of it all.
Honey ending ur life is just going to hurt your family do u want them to feel like they've failed you. Its like a slap in their faces if u commit suicide. I know it doesnt seem like it but life...gets....better. trust me I've been there n I know what ur feeling right now...
ReplyDeleteHi Nisa.
ReplyDeleteThis is just a little message to let you know that I believe the pain you're experiencing is real, that you're feeling a lot of sorrow and are stuck in a dark place tonight, and that these feelings really matter a lot to you. Well you matter too, to a lot of people. You might not feel like that right now, but you do matter. You are a brilliantly creative person and you express it well. And though it gets difficult for you, the world really doesnt want you to go away.
I'm here to listen and understand, for when you feel lonely days and need a friendly ear. I know how it feels to just want someone to listen on those really gray days, even to just listen for a little while.
And cats are wonderful huggable things, probably the best respite out there next to puppies. Give em both a kiss from me.
-Cris
Assalamualaikum,
ReplyDeletePlease be strong, inshaAllah, you'll be able to get through it. Please don't give up in life. Ask for help to Allah, inshaAllah, He will give you light and peacefulness.
not say that. will be better :hugs:
ReplyDelete