Fuck March

Disregard yesterday's blogpost because to be honest, it doesn't matter anymore.

No celebrating my birthday in the city I was born in.

No more Japanese Fair for me to volunteer in.

I've lost credibility in professionalism, and I'm no longer in the good graces with the people I was looking forward to work with.

No Sephora.

No cake.

No visiting the hospital I was born in.


I'm forever bound to what my parents decide.



They changed the date to 21st-24th.

I was supposed to be volunteering for the Japanese fair 22nd-24th.

Yes, I understand that there's nothing I can do.

It's RBA's fault for changing the fare.


But it hurts me when they said "Screw the Japanese Fair, family trips are more important."

Since when are trips more important than "work" and getting involved with something you actually enjoy and want to be part of?


I said not to go on the 18th-21st because after they changed the fare, the tickets are now $100 more expensive than the planned one.


I actually thought of my parents spending extra money unnecessarily.


Sure, they thought of me when they wanted to keep that date.

However, spending extra money when it's not needed always upsets me.


I told them I didn't have to go.

I'd rather stay, even though I know, I can't go to the Japanese Fair either since they'd be away.


But I'd rather not go to both than break my obligations to the embassy to enjoy myself on a trip that I didn't plan.


The trip was planned after I signed up to volunteer you see.


So for them to easily disregard it is just sad.



I didn't want a big celebration.
In fact, I don't even want to celebrate it, should it be in Brunei.


Plus, if I don't go, it'd make my sister happier.


Because I wasn't even considered for the trip in the first place.

They only brought me because it was my birthday week.



That's the real reason why I'm upset.


Because they forgot my birthday.


They tried to make it up to me by bringing me to the trip.


And now they changed it all without a single sorry.




I don't know how to get through to them.


I promised my psychiatrist I wouldn't think of suicide or attempt it until I see him next.

But with a family like this, it's a bit hard.