Moving? I Hope So.

Well, if you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me update about moving and stuff.
This was actually a sudden thing. A plan. Well, it's official to me though LOL.

My parents are still thinking about it but it was actually them discussing with my older sister.

She lives (well, right now she's back in Brunei for the holidays) in the US for at least 3 more years and I guess they discussed me moving in with her family to help out with taking care of my niece. Also, there's talk about me studying Cosmetology degree or at least some courses.

Her house is quite close to a university so it's easy I guess.

I'm actually interested in art, writing..E.Lit...but honestly, it comes and goes.

As for Cosmetology...do I know shit? No. It'd be something completely new to me.
Maybe I'll like it.

Plus I wouldn't mind learning. I am constantly discovering new things as I apply makeup. Like today, my eyeliner wings were a bit more bold and evil looking LOL. And I changed up my foundation routine. Well, I always do. I rotate them a lot but dammit, two breakouts ;-;

I'm not very adventurous with my makeup I guess, mostly because I wear glasses 99% of the time. With my astigmatism, wearing lenses generally strain me more than help me. Plus I only wear lenses when I do some costume looks.


Moving to the US for a little while would be a welcome change for me.
The more I stay here, honestly, my anxiety is getting worse. I'm not as depressed like before. I was told to take my anti-depressants but I really don't want to :(

Maybe just for anxiety.


I'm scared at the thought of going to uni with no one I know, no friends, everything is fresh.

Unlike my Japan stay back in 2008, I feel like I'm not as brave as I was back then.
I feel small.

Scared.


Depression changed me.
Or maybe Japan changed me.


I'm scared, even though my sister will be there :(

Well, it's also very far from here.
Travelling...ugh, I have motion sickness, even two hour flights kill me!


Also, my favourite kitten died last Sunday.
I blame myself for it, really.
I still can't get over it. Slowly, I am.

But it's a bit traumatic for me...I feel like I've failed the mother cat.

It's the first kitten death under my care (officially).

Man, I really don't wanna cry again. Ha.


Anyway, tomorrow/today we're having a family BBQ, I marinated some chicken and lamb stuff. I hope it tastes good. My chicken will compete with mom's. I have a smaller portion though.

If mine tastes good, people will just have to share!


I've been busy taking care of the niece and nephew :)
I don't mind it one bit, well, except when they cry and I don't know what's wrong D:

And their poo-poo.

No.

Anyway, bought this:

Glazed Apple Hand Cream BND8.90

I'm kinda bummed they don't have the body butters separately.

They only have it in a small kit that's like BND19.90 and a big kit that's BND89...something.

( ;-; ) how is that a good deal?? It's not like everything's full sized :< well, okay, maybe 3 out of 4 of it are full sized...but still.

I'd buy it if it was BND69 maybe lol. Well, maybe.

I just splurged on some MUG Vegas Collection...so of course, I can't.

Sorry for the rambling, just in the mood for it.

( '-' ) I'm kinda half-down. I forced myself to workout for 3 days straight, so I'm less prone to hormonal outbursts. I am late though. My period I mean.

I guess it's stress.

Or the anti-depressants.


Anyway, I need to sleep.


'til then, take care!

-Nisah-